Happy Advent! Though we're still in this first week of anticipation for Christ's birth, I can't help wondering this year what life must have been like for Mary right after Jesus was born. I mean, their family basically invented Christmas, so I don't expect she experienced the holiday FOMO I get touches of now and then as we navigate life with a newborn Lily, but the feeling of being united to Our Lady in motherhood, in all its good and exhaustion, has been on my heart a lot.
In the spirit of this sacred time, I present to you my collection of Advent and Christmas posts past with the hope that these pieces inspire your relationship traditions, gift-giving, and help settle the restlessness that engagement and marriage prep can bring:
I'll let you take it from here: I love hearing about other couples' family and religious Christmas traditions, about obscure new covers of old favorite hymns, and about what gifts are at the top of your wish list! Share away!
Our last two annual family apple picking photos. I suspect this year's will more resemble the former...
I fully admit, it's still all hot-town-summer-in-the-city around D.C. But the breezes that have snuck their way into the evenings lately are giving this third trimester perpetual sweater hope that the best, most crisp days of the year are close at hand. If you're planning a Fall wedding or if, like me, you're just antsy for all things commercially pumpkiny, I offer you this roundup of Fall posts past from the blog…
A question worth pondering (one I'm still figuring out): just how personal should your first dance song be? Should you take an opportunity to share your faith or just stick to a conventional love song?
Brooke and I chatted over coffee about a month ago about how a bride and groom are, in a way, responsible for their guests in the way they plan their Mass and reception. Although, obviously, not every aspect of your reception requires heavy-handed theological discourse (I'd argue, actually, that nothing should be heavy-handed so much as simply done with love, truth, and invitation), the choices made regarding things like alcohol and music can have an effect on your guests' behavior and the way they remember the day. As first dances go, there's a natural desire to choose a song that's meaningful or sentimental to you as a couple, yet at the same time, there is an awareness that the song you pick will send a message to everyone who's there watching and listening. Or is that just over analytical me?
Maybe it's my lifelong reading habit or my poetical husband, but more so than sound, mood, or any other aspect, lyrics are what almost always draw me most powerfully into a song. Something about the precision of capturing a certain emotion or experience with beautiful language matters a lot to me, and Andrew and I wanted to reflect that in our first dance song. Unfortunately, we chickened out on our first choice (too intimate) and second (too long) and settled on this, which you can read more about here.
Looking back, I sometimes wish we had been bold enough to choose a song more personal and reflective of our spirituality. I have an entire playlist of secular songs I constantly listen to that, in my opinion at least, cry out lyrically of the Theology of the Body--songs that speak to the longing of our hearts for something more than this life, the glimpse of heaven pure, sacrificial love affords us, the constant battle to allow love to prevail over lust and selfishness, and the perfecting love of the Father, who rejoices simply in the fact that we exist. It's a tall order, cramming all that into one song, but if you're on the hunt for a TOB-inspired first dance, I offer you these.
What do you think about loving responsibility and evangelization through your Mass and reception? Did any of your favorites make this list, and which ones did I leave off? Would you choose one, or a similarly-minded song, for your first dance?
P.S. Did you catch my book title reveal yesterday? I'll be announcing it on the blog next week, but you can catch it right now, ahead of time, on Facebook and Instagram. Follow along and share it with a bride-to-be!
The little girl I nanny for has a love for me after about 5 months together, I think, but understandably, she straight up bellows when I show up each morning because she knows it means her mama's about to disappear. We recently attempted a new maneuver that I'm calling in my head Dance Off Hand Off (alternate name suggestions welcome), where her mom puts on music and holds her while we all dance around the kitchen, and as we get down she passes her to me and sneaks away as I ever so subtly spin the babe in the opposite direction. So far so peaceful.
The tune by which the magic happens has been a reggae cover of the song "I Say a Little Prayer For You" from the soundtrack to My Best Friend's Wedding, which, I swear, has like four versions of that song on it. I know sometimes only the orig will do, but I really like covers. Something about hearing a fresh, lesser-known take on an old, well-known song is so intriguing to me. And as far as wedding songs go, first dances especially, I think going with a cover can be an inspired choice.
I love me some Boyce Avenue as much as the next girl, but here, for your consideration, five other love song covers.
1. In Your Eyes: No contest, you guys. This is my favorite song, hands down. The vulnerability ("Love, I get so lost sometimes"), the self-gift ("I reach out from the inside"), the fulfillment of a soul's longing (the whole dang chorus)…it stirs me so good. Andrew thinks the original Peter Gabriel version sounds like The Lion King, and maybe he has a point (one I don't see a problem with!). He approves of this understated acoustic version by Matt Ketteman and Cameron Mizell. Listen to it on Spotify here.
2. Let's Stay Together: I first encountered Obidiah Parker by his mellow redo of "Hey Ya." Inspired, my friend played it on guitar during dinner with my roommate and I, and it somehow resulted in us dancing around the apartment so enthusiastically, I guess, that the downstairs neighbor banged on the ceiling. Maybe it wasn't such a mellow cover after all. Anyway, he also has his own rendition of Al Green's "Let's Stay Together." At the risk of disrespecting a classic, I think I like this one more, if only because the words sound a little clearer (Al Green: marblemouth?) and because the melody just sounds so great. Have a listen:
3. Crazy In Love: Classic (sidenote: I'm illiterate…is Bey pronounced "Bee?" Sorry, Beyonce). This vintage take by Emeli Sande from The Great Gatsby soundtrack would fit in perfectly for your reception cocktail hour, in my opinion. Yes?
4. Dance Me to the End of Love: I heard this song for the first time back in high school, thanks to a friend who introduced me to Leonard Cohen, the musician who also wrote "Hallelujah." "Dance Me to the End of Love" was gorgeously haunting and poetic and sexy, but despite the beautiful lyrics I thought Leonard sounded a little, um, creepy. I love the whispered harmonies in this version by the Civil Wars so much.
5. Is This Love: One time in the car, my chastity speaking partner and I were talking about our parents' wedding songs. After I serenaded him with my most expressive attempt at my mom and dad's ultracheesy 80s power ballad, "Just You and I," he played me Bob Marley's "Is This Love," which his parents danced to. So much cooler (sorry, parents, if you're reading this), and it was that song that took me from a casual to more-widely-listened Marley fan. Corinne Bailey Rae takes the reggae jam and turns it into a classy, soulful affair. Beauty.
Your turn! Any other romantic covers I should know about? Share 'em in the comments, and tell me your favorite love song!
P.S. 5 1/2: I wrote about Adele's incredible cover of Bob Dylan's "To Make You Feel My Love" here!
P.P.S. Like the sassy new Pinterest feed on the sidebar? Hover over the images to see the pins, and follow me here.
Around a year ago, I wrote a post about choosing your first dance song (clickety click if you like knowing important details of other people's weddings as much as I do, or if you're in the market for your song). I have many, many vices, but if I have an ultimate vice it's nosiness, and was so excited to see Grace's wedding song linkup. I guess burning to know other people's first dances is among the more harmless of things to poke my nose into, but for whatever reason, there's something so telling to me about the lyrics that mean something to a couple--even when it's friends I know well, hearing a song that's special to them feels like a deeper look into their hearts and their view of each other. I tend to envision wedding songs as the words the couple would express to one another about how they feel, which is pretty personal stuff, yeah? It feels like a privilege to be given that glimpse.
Anyway, our song. Andrew and I loved the song "In My Arms" by Jon Foreman, but both of us felt like it was a little too intimate a choice to be dancing to in front of 200 people. Not just because of lines like, "Love, we sleep apart for the last time," but because it's such a delicate whisper of a song that we wanted to keep it just between us for the time. Looking back, I kind of wish we'd gone with it anyway--I think I've gotten a little bolder in the last two and a half years--but that doesn't stop us from still dancing to it at home now and then.
We also considered my very favorite song, "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel, but the tempo didn't feel conducive to slowish dancing, plus it's like a five minute song, and we didn't want the spotlight on just us for quite that long. The tune we ultimately settled on was "You Are the One" by Matt Hires. Here's the story, as I last told it:
On a night in August almost three [now almost four!] summers ago, my brand spanking new fiance and I went to the movies to see Despicable Me. Afterwards, we took pictures in a photo booth (an item I could hence cross off my bucket list) and drove home to my parents' house on starry back roads. Somewhat impulsively, we stopped in the Adoration chapel at my church on the way.
As we got ready to leave, I started the car and rolled down the windows. Instead of getting in, Andrew held out his hand and asked me to dance. I sang along to the music in the CD player, and just like that, we had our wedding song.
So there you have it. Never did I think I'd be some kind of Taylor Swift-ish parking lot dancer, but I cherish that night, and if I think about it, our wedding was actually our second dance to that song. Thanks, Grace, for indulging my curiosity. I love reading these sweet stories! And off I go to snoop on, snoopers.
Holy smokes you guys. I died when I heard this song for the first time a few weeks ago. Labrinth and Emeli Sande's Beneath Your Beautiful speaks straight to my heart. I love, love, love music and movies that find the sacred in the secular, and this duet bridges the two in an amazing way; it's a song about uncovering the deepest part of yourself for love's sake. The chorus asks, "Would you let me see beneath your beautiful? Would you let me see beneath your perfect?"
This line is followed by "Take it off now," a request that's not uncommon in pop music and one that I typically hate, but what I really, really admire in this context is that it's not about clothes. It's like Labrinth is daring you to see the deeper meaning behind the line, one that's all about love and letting down your walls. To reclaim nakedness in a mainstream song is bold and kind of provocative, and I love that. Props. There should be more of that in music, I think; the Song of Songs itself is boldly evocative in a blazingly pure, holy way that is all love and not a hint of lust.
Thoughts? Do you love this song as much as I do? And, if you know of any other tunes in the same TOB-ish vein, suggest away!
Have you ever seen a new bride and groom wash each other's feet during their wedding ceremony or reception? Personally, I'm not for symbolic rituals like foot-washing or unity candles since, to me, there's no reason for a symbol when a Catholic Mass has a sacramental reality instead, but even so, the beauty of the idea is undeniable.
Alabaster by Rend Collective Experiment expresses this sense of loving service so beautifully. "My lips," they sing, "so lost for words, will kiss your feet." It's a song about brokenness made whole, which might not seem like the most wedding-y sentiment off the bat, but I think being healed and brought to a deeper love, by Love Himself, is as romantic as it gets. It would make a wonderful Mass prelude or communion meditation! Listen to the song here.
What do you think? Any opinions on additions to the liturgy?
A few years ago, my friend Sara introduced me to a musician who skateboards, raps,lives in a cabin, and writes the most amazingly beautiful spiritual, poetic songs. Josh Garrels cuts deep into my soul and is one of my absolute favorites. Until I heard his song Beyond the Blue on a friend's wedding website, I never thought how perfect it'd be for a first dance. First of all, there's this verse:
Yellow and gold as the new days dawns
Like a virgin unveiled who waited so long
to dance and rejoice and sing her song
And to rest in the arms of a love so strong.
It's such a beautiful image, I think, of both divine and earthly marriage. What's more, the other lyrics in this song speak so deeply to redemption in Christ, hope in the new, and communion--so wedding-day appropriate, no? I'm tempted to write out all of the words here because it's so hard to isolate a single good example and every line is so good, but since that'd be redundant, just go listen for yourself!
Happy August! Have you ever seen the Perseid Meteor Shower? Every year I swear I'll park myself outside and wait for the stars to fall, but something always seems to thwart my best of intentions--rainshowers, sleepiness, you know. This time I'm determined.
Aside from staring up at the sky, here's what else is topping my summer date bucket list...
Growing herbs in my window
Making s'mores. Gas grills don't count.
Nighttime rosary walks, a favorite of Andrew's and mine
Seeing some sort of performance outside. Our new neighborhood is close to a town square that has free live music every weekend, and we also don't live far from an outdoor theatre that's performs musicals in the summer!
Berry picking! We went to the best farm with my sister a few months ago that offers new pick-your-own produce every week. We set out to make a pie, but by the time we'd had our fill of the fresh ones (and there were over 10 pounds!) and shared them, there weren't enough left!
Nightswimming, hopefully in the ocean when we join Andrew's family on vacation in a few weeks. If you're landlocked, pools do just fine, in my opinion.
And, above are some tunes to do it all by. Your turn! I'd love to know your favorite way to while away summer afternoons and evenings with your love. I fully plan to make good on some of these ideas this weekend; have a good one!
If you missed them, here are my playlists and date ideas for seasons past:
When I was a little girl, we lived on a busy main road near a fire department. Sirens wailing by were pretty constant, and I can remember my bedtime consisting of always asking my dad, "Am I going to hear a fire engine tonight?" "I don't think so," he'd say. They drove by anyway, of course, but I loved the ritual. Then, he'd sing me "The Tigger Song" from Winnie the Pooh and tuck me in.
For years, The Tigger Song was the only song I shared with my dad. I love it, but at under a minute long, it wasn't a great contender for our Father-Daughter dance at my wedding. We started wracking our brains, and I came upon the sweetest song by way of Real Simple magazine. Amos Lee's Sweet Pea expresses thanks for the most fond, comfortable kind of love. "You're the only reason," he sings, "I keep on coming home."
My dad and I ended up dancing to another song, but that doesn't change my opinion that this wonderfully affectionate waltz would be a perfect dad-and-daughter choice. You can listen to it here.
What do you think? If there's a story behind your Father-Daughter choice, I'd love to hear it!
Is it just me, or have things taken a turn for the all about me lately? Don't get me wrong; it brings me so much joy to share my life, and especially news about our sweet baby, with you, but let's turn back to weddings, at least for today, shall we? Here, a few planning and spiritual resources worth sharing:
"I'm not entirely sure that what people want, at the deepest level, is sex. I think what our sex-crazed culture really wants is what sex promises: the feeling of being desired." A beautiful reflection on desire and what it's really meant for.
Inspired by whimsically festive fringe balloons like this one for reception photos. DIY here.
Some of the most authentic wedding advice I've ever heard, from a recent bride to the newly engaged. My fave? "Ignore everything I say--" it's your day, not hers, we're talking about here, and Victoria gets that.
Chime in! Any fantastic resources or pretty things you've stumbled on lately? Share away.
Two summers ago when I finished my missionary year, I went back home for three weeks before my wedding. Three weeks, we'd told ourselves when choosing a date, was plenty of time to wrap up all of our last minute things and not drag out our engagement (since Andrew was a student at the time, there was only a small slice of summer available to us for wedding dates).
Nope. Not nearly enough time. Dress hemming, assembling a beast of a cupcake tower (I admit, all credit for that thing goes to my sister), seating-charting...I was overwhelmed, to say the least. Looking back, of course I'm glad that we got married when we did, and of course there would have been last minute stress regardless of how many days I was still counting down.
I wanted to make prayer and exercise a priority during those weeks just to keep my head on straight, but I have to say that I wasn't particularly accountable on either of those fronts. What really did help me, though, was advice from a fellow bride. My friend Breanna (read her love story here; she and her husband Dave are expecting a sweet baby girl this summer!) got married a few weeks before me, and we were chatting one night shortly after she got back from her honeymoon. I told her about all the stress I was feeling, and she said that the best advice passed to her was to pray for peace. Peace that everything would fall reasonably into place, peace that tiny details ultimately wouldn't matter, and the joyful contentment of knowing she was marrying her best friend in a matter of days. The Prayer of St. Francis, the one that goes, "make me a channel of Your peace," helped her more than anything else, Breanna said, and she and Dave even used the song as part of their nuptial Mass!
So, in the spirit of Breanna's wisdom, I can say firsthand that praying for peace really is one of the best ways for any bride to deal with stress, deadlines, and general wedding crazies. With that, I humbly, shamelessly suggest stealing her song choice for your own Mass. I think the Prayer of St. Francis would be such a beautiful addition to your preludes or for contemplation during the presentation of the gifts!
Your turn: what's the best bride-to-be advice you received?
