6 Tips for a More Peaceful Engagement: Introducing the Brides Who've Been There Q+A Series!

I'm taking a blogging break to soak up our sweet Lily Grace (and, let's be honest, to keep my head above water through this beautiful newborn chaos), so I asked some of my married friends to contribute in my absence.  Over the next few weeks, they'll be taking over to chat about wedding planning, bridal beauty and style, and sharing stories about their newlywed days, so with that I introduce to you the Brides Who've Been There Series!

First up, I asked these ladies what they wish they'd known about cultivating peace during their engagements.

Take breaks from talking wedding.  Since we were dating long-distance for the duration of our relationship, it was tough feeling pressure to cross lots of items off our to-do lists every time we were together.  Taking mental breaks really helps for staying grounded in the relationship that's bigger than just one day's events.  - Lauren

Lauren & Alex

If you have other friends and family members that are engaged, it can be so much fun to swap ideas, read magazines, and go to tastings and dress fittings together.  Don't let it be about whose wedding is "better;" really try to enjoy this special time in your lives.  - Andi

If you're trying to plan the Pinterest-perfect wedding, you'll probably end up disappointed.  Try to stay flexible and keep the big picture in mind--the main event is not the wedding, but years of a fruitful marriage that you have ahead of you. - Anna

Anna & Alex

You've probably already heard it, but don't sweat the small stuff.  I'm a year and a half out from my own wedding and can barely tell you what the centerpieces were, but I can tell you they sparked a sizable argument.  Focus on building a marriage, not just a wedding day.  - Amanda

There is so much to do to prepare for the wedding, and our culture offers a view of the celebration that is almost entirely materialistic.  But, the reality is that internal preparation is much more important than external details.  You are preparing to join your life with another human being.  You are preparing to have children together.  You are preparing to join hands, come what may.  That is huge and amazing and very sobering.  So to whatever degree you're able, give as much of the wedding prep work to those you trust and focus on keeping a quiet heart and mind.  I was able to delegate much of my planning to my three sisters, who were thrilled to help, while my future husband and I did our best to go to daily Mass together.  We prayed nine novenas, back to back, in the final 81 days before our wedding, asking the intercession of married saints like Louis and Zelie Martin, the Quatrocchis, and Anne and Joachim.  Our engagement ended up feeling like a deeply holy, silent time of preparing to enter into the grace of the sacrament. - Katie R.

Katie and her husband Devin prayed the Rosary with all of their guests before the Mass!

Looking back, there were so many details I handled on my own instead of asking for help.  My bridesmaids, who were my best friends, would have and could have happily stepped in; more importantly, I could've turned to my mother, but I left many people close to my heart out my planning because I didn't want to be a burden.  I wish I could go back and tell that girl her family and friends wanted to be involved, wanted to help her along the preparation path.  Wedding planning doesn't have to be stressful.  And our engagement would have been much more peaceful if I had prayed more.  Because I was a senior at Benedictine College when I was engaged, I literally lived down the hall from an Adoration chapel and could have spent time with Christ any hour of the day or night.  I was full of good intentions, but not as much follow-through.  I am grateful, though, that we started praying together while we were dating and continued through our engagement.  Stepping into the biggest decision of our lives, we needed as much grace as possible! - Katie S.

Thanks so much, ladies!  Tell me; what's been the biggest struggle of your engaged life so far, and how have you pursued a sense of peace?