Inspired: Wedding Day Nails

{delights}

Way, way back in the early days of this blog, I wrote about wedding nail colors.  There were a lot of safe, practically unnoticeable pinks and nudes which, don't get me wrong, are pretty, but in the two years since then I've branched out into thinking a more statement-y mani can be a great bridal accessory.

Popping in a movie, pouring a cup of tea, and painting my nails is one of my favorite luxuries, though, with a 6-month old, there are way fewer opportunities--these days I ditch the movie and the tea,  file the digits during one of Aaron's naps, and then paint them like lightning during the next one while desperately praying he'll stay asleep long enough for them to dry most of the way (I'm not deluded enough to think he'd actually nap long enough for the whole enchilada, start to finish, in one sitting).  But anyway, I still stand by my opinion that doing your own nails is much more relaxing than going to a salon.  You can just hang out in your PJ's, you can buy a whole bottle of polish for less than the cost of one salon manicure, and you don't have to tip or breathe in all the chemicals.

So, can I suggest a bride-and-bridesmaids mani-pedi night after your rehearsal dinner?   Here, a selection of pretty picks, from blushing to bold:

Row 1, left to right, Essie: Clambake, Go Overboard, Van D'Go, Beyond Cozy, Bikini So Teeny.  Row 2, Julep: Rae, Chloe, Abigail, Adele, Octavia.  Row 3, Butter London: Jaffa, Saucy Jack, Yummy Mummy, Stardust, Fiver.  Row 4, OPI: Shorts Story, Black Cherry Chutney, Kyoto Pearl, When Monkeys Fly, I Don't GIve a Rotterdam.

Little-known fact: my childhood dream, no joke, was to name nail polish and paint colors when I grew up.  Any other home mani enthusiasts out there?  I love finding new colors and brands…what's your favorite?

Rite Resources: Underneath Your Clothes, Part 2

Did you catch my post on lingerie a while back?  There's a wealth of pretty things out there, but I also get that sometimes practicality takes priority; namely, under your wedding dress.  My dress was a strapless ballgown with a separate, poofy crinoline that went underneath; picking out undies that blended in wasn't too difficult, but every gown is a little different, obviously, and comes with different needs.  Here's what, in my opinion, makes for an easy time of dress shopping and, eventually, getting dressed on your big day:

• Convertible bra: I'm pretty sure you can buy ones now that are configurable in like 500 different ways; no joke.  Kind of intimidating, but a good thing, I think, when it comes to adjusting your straps in a way that exactly fits the neckline and back of your dress with no peeking.  If you're not sure yet whether you'll wear a strapless dress or one with straps, a convertible bra seems like a more versatile option, since you can always just take the straps off if you need to.

• By the way, if you do go strapless, the best bra advice I ever got: I used to make sure my strapless bras were super snug and were always hooked on the smallest closure, until I read (before my wedding, thankfully) that the reason girls find strapless bras so darn uncomfortable is that most of us are wearing the wrong size.  The article I read suggested buying strapless bras in the same size as you'd normally wear, set on a comfortable, not overly tight, closure--evidently, that was the secret to not having your bra ride up and down or leave marks.  Lo and behold, it was true!  Once I bought one in my normal size, it felt exactly like I was wearing a regular bra with straps, nice and supportive and natural.  The one I wore on my wedding day didn't budge once, even through a night of dancing, and wasn't uncomfy in the least.

• Alternatively: My friend Beth had a bra sewn into the front of her wedding gown and said she really enjoyed the peace of mind of not having to think about it at all during the day.  Easy!

• Nude undies: If, like me, your dress has a thicker additional layer that goes underneath the lining, the color of your underwear probably doesn't matter much (mine were my something blue!).  But if not, a seamless pair in lace or microfiber that matches your skin disappears under light-colored clothes, which is particularly great when you're dress shopping and trying on different fabrics and skirt styles .  As an avid wearer of white shorts and jeans, I'd just recommend avoiding white undies; they show through everything!

• An additional piece of unsolicited advice: While I have to give the disclaimer that I've never actually worn them, I've always had a strong suspicion that Spanx are manufactured in the ninth circle of hell.  Feel free to debate me (seriously), but my thinking is that if something I want to wear requires suctioning down my flesh, I must not actually want to wear it that badly.  If you're fuller figured or are concerned with lumps and bumps in general with the dress you've chosen, a professional lingerie fitting at a department store can help you find correct sizes for everything, which friends tell me makes a huge difference in how your clothes look, or wear a slip, both of which can eliminate the need for shapewear.

So, have you been there?  Share your best advice for keeping your undies under wraps, and be sure to check out Mary's blog, which is chock full of advice on personal style and figure flattery!

Lastly, though they have nothing at all to do with the other unmentionables, I'd love to hear your take on garters.  I didn't wear one because we weren't planning to include a garter toss at our reception, but in hindsight, I kind of wish I had worn one anyway, just for tradition's sake and to keep for my own memories.  

P.S. Happy belated feast of St. Therese!  You can read last year's reflection on her intercession in my relationship, one of my all-time favorite posts, here.

The Woman and The Serpent

At just about 9 months pregnant (I'll be full term on Monday!), I think I'm only now becoming able to articulate the thought that's been swirling around in my head for the past few months.  Over the summer, I started to notice a more and more frequent sense of heaviness on my heart.  Maybe part of it was the insanity of a 300 mile move and the temptation to despair when a lot of details Andrew and I had planned and anticipated ended up falling through or changing, but I think there's been something else at work, too.

Way back in the early days of this blog, I wrote about my first encounter with spiritual warfare during my engagement.  During the year I worked as a chastity speaker while planning my wedding, my purity came under attack big time.  I realized something that year, and I'm realizing it again now: Satan's enmity for woman, the hatred that began in the Garden, affects brides in a certain way.  Authentic beauty and purity shine so clearly in comparison to the lies of artifice and lust that the world packages and presents to us, so why wouldn't the evil one strike constantly at our sense of beauty when it goes to the core of who we are?  It can be so easy sometimes to feel like your weight and your looks aren't enough, and chastity before marriage can be such a battle.

A few years later, I'm feeling some of the same attacks on who I am as a woman.  I really have been blessed with a healthy and pretty easy pregnancy, but it's still hard, more and more often, not to feel huge and clumsy when I can't get out of the car or sit up in bed without help, not to be frustrated with my increasingly limited wardrobe and my belly when I look at magazines and clothes catalogs, and not to hate the stretch marks that suddenly started zebra-ing their way down one of my legs.  I need to remind myself often (and, thanks be to God, I'm constantly reminded by my sweet, affirming, and truthful hubby) that regardless of how I'm feeling physically or how I perceive my appearance, my body is doing something amazing and something beautiful in growing and caring for our son before he's even born.  I have a really strong sense that it's the same way the evil one came after me when I was engaged; authentic womanhood and motherhood are such enemies of his.

Engaged ladies?  Mamas?  Do you ever feel this way?  Being a bride and being a mother can come with such a spiritual struggle when you're down on yourself.  All of it goes back to Our Lady, I think.  She is a perfect bride, virginal, beautiful, and completely integrated in her body and soul, and a perfect mother, a holy dwelling place for the Lord.   So Satan's constantly after her, and her children, but of course, she can't be touched.  If only it were that easy for us...

I love statues of Mary where she's crushing the head of the serpent beneath her feet.  As hard as it is, and as resistant as I have to admit I usually am, I know that clinging to her during my times of self-doubt and attack are graces in themselves.  Please pray for me.  Even as I wrote this post over the last few days, I had a hard time, not with being honest but with just feeling peace.  I noticed a greater sense of impatience and frustration with myself and even a feeling of self-loathing and despair for feeling that way in the first place; it's a feeling I know wasn't of the Lord.

St. Maximilian Kolbe wrote, "to come closer to her, to become like her, to permit her to reign over our hearts and our whole being, that she live and ace in us and through us, that she love God with our hearts, and we belong to her unreservedly; this is our Ideal.  That her life might grow deeper in us from day to day, from hour to hour, from moment to moment, and without limits: This is our Ideal."  Amen.   

Are Soulmates Real?

I'm such a huge dork.  I might be wrong, but it seems like everyone besides me has been over Napoleon Dynamite since, you know, 2006 or so.  I still watch it sometimes, and I still crack up.  Do you remember Uncle Rico's line about his dream of "making millions of dollars and living in a big ol' mansion somewhere, soaking it up in a hot tub with my soul mate?"  

Ridiculous.  But anyway, I've been thinking about that lately.  Have you seen this article floating around, "My Husband Is Not My Soulmate?"  A friend of mine asked my opinion on it a few days ago, and I realized there's something so...indescribable to me about the whole thing.  I feel like I agree and I disagree, and am having the darndest time putting into words why.

I get the point of the article, I think.  Hannah is saying that her real, live, flesh-and-blood husband is so much more fulfilling than the idealized, guitar-strumming man she imagined as a teenager.  She's saying that being his wife involves an intentional, self-giving love that she's happy to pour out to him; it's not a fairy tale.  "My marriage," she says, "is not based on a set of choices over which I had no control. It is based on a daily choice to love this man, this husband that I chose out of many people that I could have chosen to love."  Amen.  I totally get that.

Hannah got me wondering, though, if there really is a such thing as a soulmate for everyone called to marriage.  She's wise, I think, to point out that Scripture as evidence tends to come up short, but where to go from there?  My instinct says (and feel free to debate me on this) that vocationally speaking, and within the sacramental nature of vocations in the Church, that for a man and woman disposed to the graces of the sacrament of marriage, in which their relationship is literally transformed, the person you marry does become your path to Heaven, and hopefully, a fulfillment of your heart.  Grace builds on nature, you know?

At the same time, Andrew and I have had a few conversations where we wonder if we could've married other people.  I told my friend that we usually conclude there are probably good, holy people out there whom we'd feel fulfilled by, but that neither of us can imagine being quite as fulfilled, or understood, or as free with anyone else. I love my husband so deeply and feel so seen and so loved by him that I really can't imagine anything else. The other thing, or person really, that makes me tend to think there is such a thing as soulmates, is John Paul II. His writings are all about the immense dignity, value, and unrepeatability of every human person. So, if every person is completely unique and unrepeatable, wouldn't it make sense that the person the Lord intends him or her to enter into marriage with (assuming the person is called to marriage) is someone, not just anyone?

My thoughts are still coming together on this, and I'd love to hear yours. Read the article if you haven't, and tell me what you think! Do you believe in soulmates? Do you think the permanent nature of the sacraments of vocation has a bearing on who you choose as your spouse?

Rite Resources: Lovely

Aside, of course, from your wedding gown, does it seem to you (like it seemed to me) that weddings involve a plethora of other dresses, too?  Bridesmaids, your mom, parties and showers, your rehearsal dinner...it's not a requirement, of course, to restock your wardrobe just because you're getting married, but if you are in the market for a few new fancies, might I make a suggestion?

Lovely is a bridal boutique with the prettiest offerings and, judging by their website, gorgeous styling.  Most of their selections look like they're well above any budget I had for my own wedding dress, but happily, Lovely's sister dress shop also has plenty of well, lovely choices for more casual wedding-related affairs, most of them under $100.  Peplums, sequins, and girls in white dresses?  Yes please!

Browsing through, I noticed that most of Lovely's dresses for the season share the same white, cream, and blush color palette.  I love the idea of mix-and-match bridesmaids dresses, and between the sweet, sort of vintage sensibility that runs through the collection, plus prices this nice, I think these dresses would be perfect contenders for a white wedding!

What do you think?  Any of these lovelies in particular that you have your eye on?  And what other resources have you found for dresses to wear to all your festivities?